Where to Live During Separation

Sometimes it is a good idea to take a break from your marriage and relationship by moving out temporarily or permanently. Before you do, take some time to create a plan for yourself.

Is there a family member or friend that you can live with for a month or longer until you sort things out with your spouse? If not, consider renting. Even if you have always owned a home, or haven’t rented in a couple of decades, renting is often the best option for one or both spouses until you can step away from the emotional challenges and make some permanent decisions. Sometimes one of you will decide to move away from your current area because it is less expensive, but a temporary nearby home will give you some time to consider that option carefully.

If you are considering moving out and renting:

How much does it cost to rent a place to live nearby? Check Craigslist, FaceBook neighbourhood groups, and local apartment buildings. Compare the cost of basement suites, apartments, condominiums, coach houses, co-ops/subsidized housing, townhouses, top floors of houses, and whole houses. If it will only be yourself, also look at renting a room in someone’s home, or sharing a home with roommates
How many bedrooms and square feet do you need?
The deposit for a rental will be 50% of the monthly rent, and the pet deposit (if you have one) will usually be the same amount.
There are more places advertised in the first couple of days before and after the 1st of the month than at other times.
You might be eligible for assistance with your rent from the Rental Assistance Program.
Subsidized housing is less expensive than most other kinds of housing, but sometimes there is a waiting list and other times your timing needs to be just right. Learn about options in your area on the Housing Listings

If you’d like to stay in your home and have your spouse move out:

Will he or she agree to move out?

Consider asking a lawyer for advice. For information about free legal advice, read the page on the legal process.

If you are considering selling:

Will you be able to buy a smaller home with your share of the equity in your home and a mortgage based only on your income?
Should you pay off any lines of credit or credit card balances with the proceeds of the sale?
Should you invest any money into repairs, fresh paint or homestaging items in order to increase the selling price of your home?

Before moving out:

Take a photocopy or scan your family financial documents: the last three year’s tax returns, the most recent bank account and investment statements, the mortgage statement, the marriage certificate, etc.
How will you divide the furniture and the rest of your stuff?
Are there some things that you are willing to donate, recycle or throw away because you won’t use them at your new home?

If you have kids:

Courts often prefer 50/50 parenting time unless the parents agree on something else or you can prove that it is not in the best interest of the children to have 50/50.
Is it important to keep them in the same school they are currently attending?
If someone looks after them while you work, will that continue after you separate from your spouse?
If you have more than one child, can you afford for them to each have their own room, or will they need to share?

If you have a pet:

Will you be able to bring your dog, cat or other pet with you to your new home?
Will your spouse want to share time with your pet?

If you are a woman experiencing violence from your spouse:

Have you researched shelters where you can live temporarily?
When is the best time of day/week for you to leave?
Could you move some things out of the house to a friend’s house without your spouse noticing?